The Mongoose and the Warthog

I came across a video the other day and its main characters were a mongoose and a warthog. The mongoose was climbing all over the warthog, pulling and biting off parasites and ticks from the warthog’s face and body. As I was watching, a feeling came over me.

This feeling can best be described as resistance, and it came from the center of my chest, where my heart lies. This sensation was familiar; one I’ve felt before when something I witness in nature stirs something in me.

If I am being honest with myself, it bothers me deeply to witness nature in a way that feels driven purely by instincts. Something about life, moving without emotion or intention creates an uneasy feeling that rises from my chest whenever I witness it. This feeling has come over me many times and I realized I needed to finally face it, in hopes of understanding what this feeling was trying to show me about myself.

I’ve come to learn over my life that when something outside stirs something inside, and I face it by turning within, a deeper understanding of what I call my ‘true self’ will emerge. This is how I grow and this is why I blog. It’s a journal of sorts and with it, there is the additional hope of it resonating with some of you.

Turning within for me has evolved into a practice of listening more closely to what my reactions are trying to reveal. This morning I found myself noticing ordinary things in a different way. This included eating and even breathing as these too can be seen as instinctive actions. I was reminded from my own life that our beloved pets show the most awesome God-like love and exhibit several human-like emotions so instinct couldn’t be the whole story.

I began to see that, to me, a life lived purely through instinct feels to me like a life without meaning. I began to see that for me, meaning and God were synonymous and no-meaning meant no-God. So deep down, my study of nature, seemingly without meaning, challenged my deep belief in God/Universal consciousness/Higher self that I’ve always felt connected to.

The resistance felt in my heart came from that place. What I witnessed in nature challenged my very beliefs. It seemed so obvious to me that nature was truly without meaning and that kind of reality has no place for the God I know. I didn’t want to face that. I couldn’t possibly face that.

That realization caused a shift in me, a movement from hiding behind the resistance I felt to finally seeing what I was afraid to face. Nature, as I saw it, seemed to challenge everything I believed about life, meaning, purpose and spirituality. It directly confronted the God that I have come to know within me and in all things. There had to be a way to reconcile the two. I was determined to find the truth that could hold both.

It was then that ‘life’ came to my rescue and revealed what had been there all along.

I am life.

The creator of nature shaped her over billions of years so that the conditions and elements could allow consciousness to emerge from her. God breathe spirit into his creation, and this breathe is what makes every living being a soul. Humans and animals alike are living souls. Humanity, with its consciousness supported by nature in every way, has a living soul that can commune with God and serve as a steward for nature, while nature’s living soul expresses itself through biological life.

God created the world and all that is in it. God said, ‘It was good’. And now, when I look at nature, I can finally see that goodness for myself, and I find myself more grateful to her than ever.

Nature has been referred to as ‘red in tooth and claw’, brutal, indifferent, purely instinctive.

I saw it that way as well and I tried to block it out.

By facing the feeling instead, I can now freely see nature as neutral, deeply interconnected, balanced and that we are totally interdependent on her.

God is good!